I'm Anxious About My First Sexual Experience...

I'm Anxious About My First Sexual Experience...

BY: VAGINAL HEALTH

UPDATED: 21/03/2024

Puberty . Safe Sex

Consent

Safe Sex Practices

Communication

Education

For those of us who are sexually active it's important to stay educated about sexual health, including the risks associated with sexual activity and how to protect yourself.

The following websites have some really good info:

• SH.UK NHS

• Sexwise

• Unity Sexual Health

Preparing for the Experience

Aftercare

Everyone's first sexual experience is unique, it may well resemble Bella and Edwards long awaited night of passion from Breaking Dawn part1 or it could last 45 seconds in the back of your boyfriend's Vauxhall Corsa.

Either way, we're sure you'll go on to have plenty of wonderful sexual experiences, some may be better than others. As long as you're pactising consent, being safe and protecting your emotional and physical well-being, then it's all just part of the journey.

Most of all, have fun!!! xxx

Sex is kind of a big deal right? Or not, suppose it depends on how you look at it really.

But for a lot of us, even if it's the 327th or the 1st time, there are so many different reasons as to why the idea of intimacy can make us feel a little nervous.

We're guessing you've ended up on this post if it's popping your cherry that's got you in a sweat though right?

But fear not, below are some tips and tricks that we're hoping can ease some of those anxieties and help you feel a little more prepared going into your first sexual experience.

We'll start off by covering THE MOST important element of any sexual activity - consent.

When you're planning on engaging in ANY type of sexual activity (literally even if it's just a kiss), it is so so important to make sure that everyone involved has given their permission and has expressed that they actually want to take part.

If you're in doubt then it is always better not to continue, rather than just assuming it's ok and carrying on anyway.

Take a look at this clip, it's a fantastic way of explaining consent in really simple terms.

If you're not sure, too tired, change your mind, had too much to drink or simply just not quite in the mood, then you have the absolute right to say stop, no or explain that you just don't want to.

Sex and all the spicy side dishes that come along with it, can be fantastic fun and open doors to wonderful worlds of pleasure, BUT ONLY if everyone involved is consenting and having a good time.

Safe sex is the best sex.

You can be naughty, nasty, risky, dirty or adventurous, but it is always best to make sure you're protecting yourself from some of the unwanted side affects that can come with getting frisky.

Condoms

• We speak from both experience and regret here at VH, we urge you to please just use a condom. If you're not on any contraception and/or playing with new or non-monogamous partners, then wrap up the willies involved please. Babies aren't cheap and STI's kinda suck.

Contraception

• As per last point, we love bubbas and unplanned pregnancies turn out to be the most beautiful surprises, but it's sensible to try and stay a few steps ahead if possible.

Good communication before, during and after sexual activities is the key to ensuring a good time.

Many of us tend to feel a little awkward talking about what we do and don't like when it comes to sex. Whether you're scared to admit to an interesting turn on, or conscious of your partner's reactions or offending them, we understand that it can seem a little daunting.

But opening up a clear line of communication between you and your partner can really help you both to understand each other's wants and needs. More often than not, it's never as awkward as we think it's going to be.

Whispering your turn on's into your partners ear sounds like a pretty spicy bit of foreplay right?!?!

Before embarking on your first sexual rodeo, it's important to assess whether you feel emotionally ready.

Check in with yourself and see how you actually feel about the upcoming experience. It's totally normal to have nerves, but if you're feeling pressure, dread or it's just stressing you out way more than what's it's worth, then don't force yourself!

Many of us tend to rush into our first sexual experiences to just get it over and done with, but try to listen to what your body and mind really want in these situations.

If you're not ready yet, that's totally ok! Your partner should respect that too, even if it's .5 seconds away from actually happening, you're more than allowed to change your mind.

Best advice we can give you is try to go slow and regularly check in with how you and your partner are feeling.

Aftercare is also such an important element to sex. Just because the act itself is finished, does not mean the respect, care and consideration ends there too.

Checking in with your partner by having a debrief or a little cuddle, are great ways to follow up after sex has finished.

Sometimes, when it's over, it can feel a bit like the spell has broken. It's ok if maybe you feel a little differently about your partner or the situation after you've finished or the next morning. BUT even if this is the case, try to remember that sex can make us quite vulnerable, so being considerate and kind towards yourself and your partner is still really important.